Scooting around on Scooters

The little 100cc mopeds are the Asian vehicle of choice and necessity, dominating the streets with their maneuverability and agility, weaving in and out of oncoming traffic and mind-numbing speeds and knuckle-whitening proximity to other obstacles in the sea of traffic warfare. Tailgating takes on new meaning as the moped taxi drivers seem completely content to travel at full throttle less than a meter behind a bus while suching down the thick black smoke, and periodically darting out to either side of the bus to attempt a pass directly into oncoming traffic, occasionally necessitating completly gravitating to the other side of the oncoming lane, thus creating multiple sets of lanes going in each direction. The most hair raising example of this resulted in my practically jumping out of the window of a bus while travelling north to Hanoi on the central connector highway that is constantly clogged with everything from bycles and oxcarts to large dumptrucks. The road however is ruled by the tour busses who blaze along on their kamakazi quest of forcibly pressing faster than the river of mopeds could possibly flow. The culmination of this madness resulted in the happy driver, who would wave to all other busses in a whimsical manner, tried to pass a whole caravan of the ancient and sturdy chinese cargo trucks. Coming in the other direction was a slow moving donkey cart that another high-speed tourist bus was not willing to wait behind. It all happened in (not-so) slow motion, the two tourist busses were suddenly on their respectively wrong sides of the road and not giving way, blaring their deafening air horns, flashing their lights, the Chinese trucks groaning, and at the last minute everyone naturally swerved so that it was the cargo truck, two busses and a cart all side by side on a two lane road (we may have run over some pedestrians in the process). My last consolation was to look up at the gaudy plastic Buddha above the altar, lit in red, yellow, and green LEDs, patiently blinking away as I screamed!

So I thought that it was part of the whole Asian experience to rent one and cruise around for a while, crash into something and have a good wound to write home about. When I was on the immaculate Cat Ba island -- a rugged agglomeration of limestone carts in the middle of Halong Bay -- I decided that it was time to fulfill this phase of the journey. So I rented a little bike, and was chucked right into the traffic trying to figure out how to shift, where's the clutch (no clutch?), had to create a strategy to stop since the breaks were almost completely shot, etc, all while the guys who rented it to me got a chuckle out of the Farang almost getting squashed. But I made it and had a great day zooming around the mountains, and have a new respect for the drivers with entire families precariously balanced on back with building materials, animals, etc., all hauling ass past me as I nervously putt-putted along at a meager 50mph. I set this as my top speed after dumping the sturdy but awkward little craft in a patch of sand... but no wounds to write home about -- just a couple of good smacks from the swarms of butterflies that I'd blaze through while mesmirized by the enchanting valleys.